guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
