watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
