Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i now understand why vodka
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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