I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
