guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize