We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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