kristin has been a bad kristin
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
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Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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