also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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