What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
