I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
