people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
