i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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