I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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