I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
