whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize