decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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