Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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