these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
