I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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