you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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