The maid of honor just puked.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
