Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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