the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
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Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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