then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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