1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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