Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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