just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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