i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
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