You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
