Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
