My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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