Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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