Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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