Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
