weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
