Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
