If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
sex in a hospital.. check
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
