i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
