I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
