walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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