***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
