i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
