Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In other news, I just burned my penis
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
