Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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