After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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