Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
