ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
