After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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