so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
