Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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