i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
