It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
