yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
