I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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