apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
