I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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