Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
