GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
