was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
