I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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