Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
do nipples grow back?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
