Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
