We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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